The first week of our six month consumerism fast has had its challenges. First, our son decided that he is “getting too big for diapers” (his words).
Great, right? The only issue is that months ago, we had tried to hurry this process along by bribing the kid. With matchbox cars. Because candy didn’t seem to be enough motivation. And even still, the effort was pretty much a fail. Unfortunately, though he is now ready of his own accord to enter the world of “big boy underwear”, he distinctly remembers our “reward system”. And was quite adamant that successful toileting should result in a toy.
I really dislike rewarding my son with “things”, now. I don’t want him to think that toys are the be all, end all, and I don’t want him to be externally motivated. I want him to know that mastering this essential skill is the reward. Sadly, that explanation didn’t fly in his three-year-old mind.
I tried offering him an experience instead: A ride on the bus? A visit to the ice cream store? A tour of the fire station?
No deal.
It was toys, or nothing. The thought of our diaper budget being re-directed to his college fund each month made me cave. One day I will be able to tell him that his using the potty paid for his post secondary education.
I’d received a note in my email that Once Upon a Child was having their winter clearance sale. I wanted to see if I could find a pair of used boots for Miri Bug (who is still wearing her high-tops everywhere), so I figured while we were there I would pick up a couple of small gifts to bribe motivate him. I didn’t find boots for Miri (boo), but there was a package of ten matchbox cars for $8.50. And I thought, “I might as well just get these.” But then I remembered that Moses has about 7 jillion little toy cars, and why would I want to add to that?
So I carefully combed the store for other pre-owned toys that might actually enhance his play. It cost a little more (my total was $16, including a $4 dress I got for Miriam), but I think he will genuinely enjoy what I chose for him, instead of just tossing them on the pile.
During this time of not buying new, I really want to be mindful of the fact that I can still end up living in excess. Thrift store shopping is fun, and I could easily slip into the trap of buying a bunch of “new-to-me” items because they’re such a good deal, completely missing the fact that the acquisition of more stuff than I need is something that I want to avoid. In my research of ethical companies (which I will share here once I have a more comprehensive list), I have found myself feeling the draw to shop. Of course I haven’t, since buying new–even from fair trade eco-conscious organizations– is blatantly against our goals for these 6 months, but the itch was still there. I am glad to have found some alternatives to shopping at mainstream retailers, but it is still important to me that I exercise restraint when it comes to purchases. Thankfully, it is looking like the price of fair trade clothing is going to keep me from going too overboard!
Discipline is something I really want to get a handle on this year, so I have been reading through the archived series, 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life over at Money Saving Mom. I was so thankful when I came across the post that mentioned setting realistic goals, and not trying to implement a total life overhaul at once. If being undisciplined is a flaw of mine, another equally large one is my impatience. I see all of these areas for improvement in my life and I want to do it all NOW. Crystal says that is one really good way to crash and burn. It is better to focus on instituting one good habit at a time, making it a true part of your life, before moving onto the next thing.
I am trying to take baby-steps in terms of my resolutions. But I do have more goals than just not buying new for the next 6 months. My other resolutions are (in no particular order):
1) Get more exercise. I know that is not specific enough to be a real goal, and later on I will figure out what is realistic to expect of myself, but I would definitely like to start taking walks again on a regular basis. Yoga also starts again next week–woot!
2) Eat breakfast every morning. It seems the past several months I have done nothing but chug coffee in the A.M., and then realize sometime around noon that I am crabby because I am starving and mainlining caffeine.
3) Make more foods from scratch. I have been learning about real food, and I want to cut down on the amount of processed stuff I give to my family. There are a handful of recipes I’ve found for homemade staples and I want to start building time into my schedule to bake bread (we don’t have a bread maker), as well muffins for breakfast and cookies for snacks. I have been making the muffins and cookies for awhile, but I want homemade cookies to completely replace the presence of store-bought ones in our home. This will effectively mean that there will be much fewer cookies consumed, which is okay by me! I also want to make our own tomato sauce and salsa, but that will have to wait until the fall when we harvest our tomatoes from the community garden.
4) Start my own web-based micro-business. . .yeah. More on that later (much, much later probably. Baby steps). I could definitely stand to increase our income, so I am looking at ways I can do this from home.
5) Play Guitar. I have a guitar. I have had it since my sixteenth birthday, when it was my pride and joy. I taught myself to play several songs (and made up several more), but I never really “mastered” it. And then I went to college, and I continued to play, but didn’t really dedicate a lot of time to it. And now, being married, working, and having two kids, I obviously have more free time to learn to play again. Obviously.
6) Track our expenses. This is something we have never managed to successfully do for more than approximately two days. But now that our spending has been drastically cut, this may be our year! I have read that trying to create and live with a budget is basically pointless until you have tracked your expenses. That never made sense to me before (so I just jumped into the budget head first without tracking–see: impatient, above), but now I think get why. Tracking our expenses this past 7 days has shown us just how much we are spending on crap (read: coffees and bagels). Being aware of the unnecessary spending we are doing is increased motivation to mend our ways, and only spend on what is a) necessary, or b) will truly enhance our lives.
7) Pray consistently. This is part of that discipline thing I referenced above. I am not the kind of person who fervently prays on a very regular basis. Unless I am in an out and out crisis, I just don’t feel desperate enough to take the same thing to God over and over again. Yet I hear about situations in which something really critical is playing out and people all over the world join in prayer, and miracles happen. I need to admit, though, I have rarely if ever been one of the people who are part of that. Because certain situations seem too hopeless or too far away for my prayers to even be taken into account. I don’t know much about why some prayers get answered and some don’t, or what moves God to action, but maybe by the end of this year I’ll have a better understanding.
Okay. So, those are my goals for the year. Kinda daunting, but I will not let myself get overwhelmed, lest I crash and burn.
Words, Rants, Rock n Roll 